Maybe Healing Looks Like Going Back

There’s a line from Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar speech a few years back that’s always stuck with me. He said his hero is himself ten years from now—and he’s always chasing that version of who he’s becoming. I’ve always loved that idea.

Probably because looking ahead has always felt easier—and safer—than pausing to look back.

Something my therapist has me do often is sit, listen, and talk to my 8-year-old self. And today, as I sat with him—really sat with him—I realized just how much he was carrying. At one point, I even said aloud, “How is this even real?”

So many questions. So much confusion. So many feelings he didn’t have words for.

It’s never easy to look back.

But today felt different.

Because as I walked out of therapy, this thought hit me:

I think I’m becoming the person who would’ve saved him.

And maybe that’s what this journey is about—

Not just becoming the future version we admire,

but becoming the kind of person who turns around and says,

“I won’t leave you behind.”

Because that’s what real heroes do.

They go back.

They make sure no one gets left behind.

Not even the scared 8-year-old still waiting to be seen, loved, and told, “You’re safe now.”

And maybe healing looks like that.

Not just moving forward—but reaching back and bringing every part of you into the light.

That’s the kind of person I want to be—

The kind who heals by going back, picking up the pieces, and walking forward—whole.